my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have tasted many bathrooms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize