Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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