It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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