he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
