I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
