I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
