he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
