Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
