He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize