Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
