Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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