i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
