Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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