Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
