Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
