I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
