Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
