I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
