4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
