hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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