in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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