4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
