yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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