I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
