you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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