Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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