remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
