i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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