She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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