dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
