they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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