I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
