just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We have started to decorate penises.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
