hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I fill condoms, not promises.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
