Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
