i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
