I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
