It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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