I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize