Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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