Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
