so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
