Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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