Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
