Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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