i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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