no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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