do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
