oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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