Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
