'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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