I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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