jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
