im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
