I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
