C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
