please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
