Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

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(845): View more from New York

just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.

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(845): View more from New York

Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze

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