I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
don't judge my taste in strippers
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
