you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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