I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
