Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You're like the curious george of whores
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
