There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
