Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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