Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
