i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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