Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
