its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When are your genitals available?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
