Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize