if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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