I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
