Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
