her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
